I've already lost my train of thought, but I just want to get some words going here and I hope that as the night progresses I can remember the insightful things that I think of. So that I can get some sort of record on my own life. Leave some remnant of a human existence. Hopefully I can be remembered for a couple generations. That's all I ask. To be remembered for a couple generations.
As a sort of despondant, I'll passive agressively write about my past week. Fuck that. I don't do passive agressive. This week I don't have to work. This is because we doubled revenue this year, so my boss gave me the week off PAID. It's like my Christmas bonus. So I get a week to get wasted every night. And see life from the other side. I am planning on writing a few chapters on my cult book this week. I think I could crank out a few chapters. Just hoping I don't turn into a drug addict first. That is my struggle. Writer vs. Drug addict. That is a UFC fight I would pay to watch. Speaking of watching games I watched the Jazz game tonight at the O'Shucks bar on 100 south. Jazz won barely, even though they were up by 20 points at first. There was a hard body at the bar, but her friend ran "Reality Kings" and "Wicked" a couple porn producers. Which was weird because he seemed like a total dork. He was falling all over this girl's boobs. Half the time I think me life is going to careen into addiction and prison. But I am pleasantly surprised to find out that the world appreciates people like me. Which is good. Because I always felt sort of like a reject growing up.
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so i’ve been getting into the holiday spirit. its been really nice. I like it. Focusing back on morals and family and community. Being a part of something, and not just the lone ranger like i feel most of the time. christmas is alot about christ. christianity. The idea of saviors, and perfection and “goodness.” Like we’ve all been taught what goodness “should” be. And we more or less just see ourselves at varying degrees of siness as we deviate from that goodness. Be nice to others. Help the poor and downtrodden. Love everyone, even those who do wrong to you. Christian Thought.
What the fuck about christian thought? Why did this thought process grow so strongly throughout the past 1,500+ years? Christ taught an ideology. Or, even if he didn’t teach it, MAN did, and so it stuck. (Glossary term: MAN - the will of mankind. Our primal goals and desires.) Humankind for centuries has existed as a sort of Hivemind mentality. (See Super Organism.) Bees and ants have it. Why can't we? Any sophisticated animal takes on the behavior of the group. The group forms a sort of social order. Who can speak. Who can’t. Who matters. What is drivel. But every so often we have one of these things called an underdog. Everyone loves an underdog. Why? Why not. To answer this question let’s first start off with why we all love winners. Eh hem. We love winners because they win. If i’m gonna join a team, I’m gonna join a team that wins. Why would I join a losing team? As globalization occurs, it is possible for any person anywhere in the world to figuratively join any team in the world. At least in ideology and mindset. But I don’t think this is necessarily the only reason we join teams. #2. We also join teams to show our beliefs. Sure our beliefs might not be winning, but we join them anyways. This is kind of like on a smaller community level, but still in terms of Human Communities. So humans will profess a belief, even if they don’t totally agree with it, but just because it makes them feel like a part of a community. Which is the lovely human circlejerk of self-sustainment. We love ourselves, so we will just sit and circlejerk about ourselves, and just fuck some more and low and behold, Humankind has progressed. What a lovely animal. |
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April 2016
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